Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Stop! Thief!

What is wrong with some people today?  The liberties they take!  The assumptions they make!  I’ll get to the point before I sound too much like a Dr Seuss story.  Chatty Baby is pretty cross today.

Mummy invited friends round for tea and cake.  Great, for her.  For me, it brings all kinds of untold misery, except that I’m about to tell you now.  They bring their babies and start talking grown-up talk with Mummy, leaving me on the floor with the other little people.  They touch my things, and eat my cake, breathe my air . . .  The cheek!

I tried to be patient, I really did, but it’s so difficult.  Mummy hates it when Daddy touches her books.  She says he “doesn’t respect them,” because he bends the covers back and folds the pages down.  I feel the same when other people don’t suck my toys in the right way.  My belongings are precious.  And they’re MINE!

Tea was hard work.  There were two of them, you see.  I couldn’t keep the pace with them both.  No sooner had I ripped a ball about of one pair of hands than the second was clutching a doll.  I toddled as fast as I could to rescue Dolly, and Pair 1 made off with my keyboard!  Stress!

Now, I am fortunate to be a two-car baby.  Both grannies have given me one, but I like to drive them both.  Simultaneously.  Imagine my horror when one of my ‘guests’ tried to hop aboard a ride-on car!  I had to scream. It was the only way to draw Mummy’s attention to the riotous joyriding taking place.

“Share,” Mummy says.  Eh? What?  I don’t know that word yet.  I can’t say it, I don’t understand it. Sounds like a silly notion to me.  She was quite embarrassed by the whole thing, especially when I tried a few distraction tactics (one visitor was of the boy persuasion – see my recent post on what to do with them!) and got a bit carried away.  I can’t tell you what happened because we’re still before the watershed.

There were some positives, though; I learned I can’t rely on Hairy Dog at all.  He didn’t lift a paw but to have his tummy rubbed by the intruders.  He does not have my back in a crisis.  I’ll remember that.  He’ll be sorry when I eat all my breakfast and don’t throw him as much as a measly little crumb.



  1. Ha ha ha ha!! This really made me laugh!! Such a fab post!!! So funny! :-) x

  2. Oh Chatty Baby you funny sausage !
    At least they didn't touch your new wellies !

  3. Oh you poor thing chatty baby....

  4. Oh not i remember that stage, your poor mummy...

  5. Thanks, thesingingmummy - praise indeed! You're too kind.

    Mammasaurus, thank you, as ever. They didn't find my wellie - phew!

    Thanks for your solidarity, Pictorialmum!

    Frankie P, thanks for your comment. I hope it is just a stage (so does Mummy!)

  6. Oh Chatty you have a lot to learn! Just wait until they are clever enough to stuff your toys up their jumpers and take them home with them! Then Mummy will have some arguments on her hands. My advice is learn quick and hide all your toys before your friends come round!

  7. Actually Mummy - who would do such a thing?! Take things home with them?! I'm astounded! I'm heeding your advice and I'm going to squirrel things away, starting now . . .

  8. Oh chattybaby you poor thing, how dare mummy do this to you..imagine if she had to 'share' her precious things such as that diamond ring she loves so much.

    You'll get your own back when your a teenager and can choose your own friends. Until then happy screaming

  9. You're right, Emmysmummy, she wouldn't like it at all! I'm going to get my own back when I go to their houses; I'm taking Actually Mummy's tip and I'm going to stuff things up my jumper!

  10. Bless! It'll be a good while before you understand sharing - good job you have a clever mummy who understands your pain! :)

  11. Thanks Emily. I don't think I'll ever understand sharing! They live in hope though.


Go on, leave me a comment - they make my day.