Friday, 8 July 2011

Tooth Brush Wars

I wrote last week about the two-man nappy change.  This week’s battle is teeth-brushing.  Quite frankly, I think it’s over-rated and I don’t want to do it any more.  I quite like the taste of the toothpaste so I’m happy to suck the bristles, but I don’t think brushing’s for me.  I know Mummy’s desperate for me to co-operate a bit more and she’s almost at the point of paying for a secret!  Good work, even if I say so myself.

I’ve had a toothbrush longer than I’ve had teeth.  Mummy and Daddy wanted me to get used to the idea.  I think they thought if they made it ‘fun,’ I’d go for it a bit more readily.  A good idea in theory, but I don’t have to follow convention.

Some of their tactics are quite amusing.  My favourite at the moment is Mummy taking it turns with me.  I stick the toothbrush so far down her throat while she tries not to gag, we pretend to brush her teeth, then it’s her turn to brush mine.  Except that I clamp my mouth shut so tightly, nothing’s going to get past my lips!

She tells me horror stories about what will happen if I don’t brush my teeth, and some of them sound quite gruesome.  So until I’ve had enough of this sport and start brushing properly, we’ll take some other precautionary measures to keep decay at bay:

Dilute fruit juice.  Neat juice is quite acidic so adding water helps neutralise.

Avoid sugary drinks and food.  It’s obvious really!

Use a small amount of toothpaste.  You’d think toothpaste is a good thing, but until you can be sure we’ll spit, little is better because it’s not too god for our tummies.

Practice. Make tooth-brushing a twice daily routine, like your own, and even if it seems like a real chore, persevere.  Sing, dance, bribe if you need to!

It’ll all be worth it when we have a beautiful, sparkling smile.


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