This Toddler Does Not Eat Breakfast!

I think breakfast is over-rated.  These days, I won’t eat it, whatever they give me.  Any of it.  If I’ve been asleep for hours (and sometimes I have, sometimes for really a very long time!) I want to get up and make the most of the day!  Why waste time eating?  There are toys to be played with, pictures to be drawn, not to mention the attention that must be lavished on Hairy Dog when I’ve not seen him in so long.  So, to assert my authority, I, the toddler, won’t eat breakfast.

It’s a small stand to make, but it does have Mummy’s attention focused at the moment.  All credit to her, she’s been quite inventive with the breakfast menu of late.  There’s been a bit of repetition, but generally there’s been something different every day for the last couple of weeks.  I might almost get excited to see what she’s come up with every day!

I’ve had the standard baby breakfasts of cereal with milk or yogurt.  We’ve done bread, sometimes toasted, with just butter or something a bit more interesting like jam or Marmite.  There was even chocolate spread this morning but I only know that because a little bit smeared on my thumb as I threw the plate to the floor without tasting the food.  I had to surreptitiously lick off the chocolate on my thumb so Mummy didn’t think she was making progress.  I’d be amazed if she thought chocolate spread was going to be a sustainable option because she’s quite insistent on me “eating properly.” I guess that’s why this breakfast lark has her knickers in a twist.

I’ve had an array of cooked options, too – omelettes, with ham or mushrooms or cheese, boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage.

There’s always fruit on offer, and a couple of mouthfuls of banana is the most I’ve had for breakfast in ages and that’s only because I forgot myself and tucked in before I remembered I don’t eat breakfast.  Hairy Dog had the rest.

The clever thing about this game is that I’ll eat any of these things later in the day, I’m not a fussy eater, I just don’t want to eat first thing.  We often have a play before breakfast now as Mummy tries to make me think more time has passed than is actually the case, but I’m not stupid.

Milk, on the other hand, is something I will not miss out on.  The milk routine is much stricter in this house, and I’m quite insistent that we maintain those standards.  Mummy and Daddy have approximately ten seconds longer than it takes for me to walk from my bedroom to the kitchen in the morning before I go into a milk-deprivation-induced meltdown.  It can be done, but they need to be quick!

CB