A Dog Is Still A Dog

A big fat, juicy worm, anyone?  I have a big old can of them just opened!  I’ve read a really tragic story today about at two year old girl who’s been attacked by a West Highland White terrier.  Don’t worry, she survived, but she’ll be scarred.  You can read the full story here, but the gist of it is that the girl and her parents were at their neighbours’ house for the dog’s third birthday party.  Yes, you read correctly  - the dog’s birthday party.

Now, believe me, I am so sorry that this happened and I feel terrible for the little girl and her family, but the fact that the dog was having a party speaks volumes to me about the way it is treated, and about its perception of itself and others.

A Westie is a terrier.  Their instinct is to shake and kill.  That’s what they were bred for before they became cute little pets.  People forget that.  Those little fluffy puppies are still dogs and they should be treated like dogs.

Sure, it’s up to owners to decide whether the dog is given food from the table, or whether he sleeps in their bed, but these ‘lifestyle’ decisions too often cloud their judgement and the beloved pet is mistaken for a human.  A dog still needs to know its place – they’re pack animals – and all too often the owners do not give clear enough guidelines, which makes the dog nervous.

We have a dog.  We all love him very much, but he is below Daddy and Mummy in the park order.  He’s even below me and the chickens!  He knows that, and he’s happy because he doesn’t have any stress.  He has a great life – he eats well, he goes for long walks, he sleeps a lot, and barks at the postman.  He came to our house when he was just seven weeks old, but still Mummy and Daddy wouldn’t trust him with me on his own.  As I’ve said already, that’s because he’s a dog.

It shouldn’t make any difference how long you’ve had your pet, or how trustworthy you think he is, or how big it is - instinct is still there.  A dog can’t say to someone, “I’m not really in the mood today,” or “Stop that please, I’ve had enough.”  Unless you’re watching very closely, you won’t see the warning signs which are always given before an attack.

I think this was a terrible accident and I wouldn’t blame anyone involved. But please, don’t leave a child alone with a dog.

CB

Pretty Harmful

I am cross with myself for even giving today’s “research” a second thought, but I just can’t help it because I disagree so strongly.  I spotted a tweet by @Working_Mum of Adventures of a Working Mum and clicked the link to the Daily Mail. Some might say it’s my own fault!

It seems grown-ups are not to tell little girls that they’re pretty any more, for fear of turning them all into bimbos who think the only measure of success in life is one’s looks.  Drivel. The book is called “Think: Straight Talk For Women To Stay Smart In A Dumbed-Down World,” and it sounds to me like it’s missing a huge point about self-esteem.

By telling your daughter she looks beautiful, or that she’s wearing a pretty dress, are we really encouraging an obsession with appearance?  Perhaps if you only ever comment on how she looks, but not as part of balanced positive feedback.  Mummy tells me that I’m beautiful every day.  She tells me that I look sensational, but she also comments on how clever I am and praises me for working things out or doing things myself.

There might be a worrying increase in pyschological problems, but I’m pretty confident that I won’t become one of those statistics.  At least, not because Mummy tells me I’m pretty.  It seems to be that any obsessions with appearance are more likely to come from the constant media bombardment of comment and photos of celebrities.  Has the skinny little waif put on a couple of pounds?  So-and-so steps out in “no make-up disaster.” “Another wardrobe malfunction,” and so on.  It’s this incessant coverage and ridicule that is going to cause more trouble for people, surely?  In fact, if by the time I’m old enough to look at that sort of magazine I’m confident enough in myself, it’ll cause me no trouble at all.

The report says that teenage breast implants are up 150% year on year.  And that’s because mummies tell their babies they’re pretty?  Nonsense.

As for compliments being detrimental to my perception of myself, how on Earth can me thinking I’m worth something possibly be a bad thing?  When I enter a room now and people smile at me, it’s building my social confidence.  That confidence will grow and I’ll be self-assured enough to try things.

Here endeth today’s rant! 

CB

Human Tragedy Warning From UNHCR In Somalia

It seems that another massive human tragedy has crept up on us.  Obviously it has been brewing for some considerable time, but I haven’t heard all that much about it at all until this week.

The worst drought in 60 years has hit the horn of Africa, and Somalia in particular.

Hearing about how many babies and their families are in such a weak state their lives are unlikely to be saved is just so terrible.  It makes me so grateful for what I have here.

The UN has set up refugee camps in neighbouring Ethiopia and Kenya but many people trying to reach them are so malnourished that they never reach their destination.  How devastating!  And in an area that has suffered for so long with civil war and violence, and no government for 20 years.

The numbers affected are quite astounding.  I think of myself throwing my food around and having tantrums because I just don’t fancy something one day, and Mummy just produces something else.  It does make me a bit ashamed because we just don’t realise how good we have it.

I haven’t seen any appeals in this country yet.  The shop I usually get trolley rides in has a box behind the tills to collect tins of food, but for the local cats rescue and not these starving, displaced humans.  I know people in this country love their pets, but together we must be able to do something.  I wonder if it’s just easier to get on with our own lives and pretend it’s not happening?  I hope not.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-14037963

CB

The GymNurseryum

I’m sure most people don’t give two hoots about the Beckhams’ new baby, and for the most part, I’m one of them.  I will admit to being just the tiniest curious as to what they will call the little mite, and the slightest tone of anxiety stems from the ‘unusual’ names they’ve given their boys.  It’s a bit of a compulsion.  Like picking off a scab too soon – you know it’s going to hurt, but you just can’t help yourself!

So while we wait for the birth, news is out that apparently the baby will go straight into her own room.  I’m sure it will be a very grand room, full of the most expensive toys and decorations (and which parents wouldn’t do that if they could?) but I’m not sure how the family wealth exempts them from the medical advice that says a baby should sleep in the same room as the parents till at least 6 months.

I’m not judging that really either, because Mummy and Daddy couldn’t deal with my snoring so I moved into my room before 6  months, but I do think it’s a shame that they’re not even planning to give it a go for a while.

But I digress.  The thing that really caught my eye about this story was the fact that the nursery is replacing the gym, which moves out to the garage – it’s only a four-bedroomed house!  Perhaps they are still human after all, having to rearrange the space at home to accommodate a new baby.

So, any guesses for a name?

CB

Bad Dad Goes Mad!

Wow.  This is quite an amazing story, and it throws up so many questions that I’m not really sure where to start!

Here’s the essence of the story:

A couple are out for the evening having a meal.  Let’s call them Man and Woman A.  Their evening is being interrupted by a bleating small person on the next table, with Man and Woman B, and Man C.

Man A approaches the other table after listening to crying for half an hour, and suggests that perhaps the child is tired and wants to go home.  It seems he got a rude rebuff from the woman, and the two men with her suggested they take it outside.  How ridiculous!  I can just imagine them puffing their chests out and strutting about!

They were seemingly quite offensive, as restaurant staff escorted them from the restaurant.  Poor old Mr A thought that was the end of the matter and continued with his meal, only for Man B to come back in and smash his bottle of wine over his head!   Man B is now spending a couple of years at Her Majesty’s Pleasure.

It seems to me that Man A has been really unlucky here, aside from the obvious hole in his head!  He didn’t accuse them of poor parenting, but put his point in such a way that the family had a clear, dignified exit strategy, which they chose to ignore.  How hard would it have been to say, “Yes, the baby’s probably tired, we’re just leaving now.”

There are several things here that I have an issue with.  I understand that grown-ups still have the right to go out once they have children, but like most things, there is surely a time and a place.  Is 10pm really an appropriate time for little people to be out?  I’d say probably not.  Babies need an awful lot more sleep than most grown-ups, so they need to start early to get the hours in.

Aside from the parents’ rights, don’t non-parents have the right not to be subjected to other people’s grizzling babies?

That takes me to my next point – shouldn’t non-parents be able to choose a nice place to eat, knowing there won’t be any little people there?  I know Mummy and Daddy love me very much, but sometimes, they want to go out and be themselves, without kids, for a couple of hours.  And they’d be mortified if they even thought people were looking at us and talking, let alone if someone approached the table to pass comment!

There are places that are child-friendly, and they are to be commended.  I love going to them, and Mummy and Daddy like taking me. It’s important to teach me how to behave in public.  When other people are eating, it’s not all about me.  I can’t get up and run around, I can’t draw on the walls, and I can’t sit and scream.  They could take me somewhere like Brewsters for that, but Mummy and Daddy have vowed never to darken their door (they’re too scared!)

But, a restaurant on a Saturday night is less likely to be child-friendly.  I think that’s perfectly reasonable. If you’re eating out with your children, make an early reservation. 

http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2011/06/28/crying-baby-in-restaurant-dad-smashes-diner-with-bottle-after-c/

CB

Toddler's Big Day Out To Shrewsbury

Another day, another amazing baby story.  I read today that a toddler has been on a big adventure; tired of the quiet in rural Powys, he hopped on a bus to the bright lights of the heaving metropolis that is Shrewsbury!

Maybe the sheep or ducks told him the streets are paved with blueberry-flavoured rice cakes. That would seal it for me.  Or carrot batons.  Or chocolate fingers.  Mmmmmm.

Anyway, back to the story.  It seems he hopped on with various other people and everybody thought he was with somebody else.  He could have been with anybody, but it turns out nobody was accompanying him!

The driver only noticed as everyone got off at the destination in Shrewsbury.

Now, the little boy had travelled 28 miles.  That’s not a short journey in a bus.  How did no-one miss him at home?!  Such a shame.  I really hope that someone would miss me if I even made it as far as the gate.  Sometimes it can be a bit stifling how quickly I am rumbled when I make my bids for freedom, but it’s nice to know they care.

Police are investigating, and two people have been bailed.  Thankfully, the little boy is ok.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-13894172

CB

Boxing Not Very Clever At All

I am speechless today, and not because of my sore throat.  Flabbergasted doesn’t really come close.  I saw an absolutely incredible article today; 2 little Aussie girls fighting in public, in a match arranged and encouraged by their parents!

I don’t really agree with ‘sports’ like this.  Boxing strikes me as mindless and I can’t really comprehend martial arts as a sport.  I understand the discipline involved, I understand that it might be useful if someone jumps you in a dark alley, but self defence needn’t be practiced on someone else with spectators baying for blood!

Now we have that out of the way, I’m not sure that’s even the point here; the little girls were aged 7 and 8, and they were made to physically fight one another by the people they are supposed to be able to trust over anyone in the world.  I know Daddy is keen for me to be able to stand up for myself when I’m bigger, but this is surely taking things too far.

Irrespective of how much protective gear they’re wearing, these girls are going to get hurt.  Literally bruised and battered.  What sort of mummy or daddy could watch that?  And other paying customers?  Weird.

A bigger question than for me to answer tonight (I’m still tired and under the weather) but are they even able to think for themselves and take responsibility for their actions?  In the eyes of the law for example, not for some time yet.

Have a look for yourself.  What do you think?

http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/Eight-year-old-girl-to-participate-in-kickboxing-bout-061711/?GT1=39002

CB

The End Of Breastfeeding Awareness Week

I heard today that the Government has cancelled the central funding for National Breastfeeding Awareness Week, which starts today.  The locally organised events will still run, but there’s no national campaign, in the name of money-saving.

I predict another lot of ‘healthy’ debate about the pros and cons of breastfeeding, and another lot of poor mummies made to feel like failures because they can’t, or they choose not to!

So is this an obvious place to save some cash, or something we can’t afford not to support?

It’s been nearly 20 years since this campaign started out, yet still there is a relatively low proportion of British women that breastfeed their babies for any real length of time.  One could argue that if little progress has been made in that time, then perhaps the funding could be better invested.  New figures are due out soon, expected to show an increase, but still nothing like the numbers still feeding at 6 months, which is the World Health Organisation recommendation.

There are also fears amongst pro-breastfeeding campaigners that the network of regional baby feeding co-ordinators will also be cut back. 

My mummy and some of my friends’ mummies didn’t have such great experiences with the feeding ‘experts.’  Their advice often contradicted each other, and for people supposed to be helping hormonal beings at their most vulnerable, they really weren’t that supportive, saying unnecessary or hurtful things.

I don’t know why breastfeeding rates are so low. In my experience, it was easy, convenient and a great chance to spend time with Mummy.  But, it didn’t fill me up.  We had lots of chats with the feeding crew, checking my latch on and so on.  Mummy got stressed, Daddy got stressed, and so I got stressed. 

Nowhere in any of the books or classes, or in conversation with any healthcare professional, was the idea of combination feeding even muted. Surely that’s a viable option, and if that were promoted more, I think breastfeeding rates would benefit.

I would say the lack of this alternative has a big part to play in why so many women give up.  No mummy wants to think their new baby is hungry so all the while the “breast is best” message is force-fed to them, they’re worn down by hearing it, and it’s actually much harder to persevere.  What they need to hear is encouragement.

Strangely, it seemed that the ladies who were struggling, or who wanted advice, were the ones who were ostracized.  Bottles were banned at the Breastfeeding Clinic at our local children’s centre, held right after a big weekly baby group, but those that weren’t breastfeeding were not welcome to stay on.  That included those who might have needed some help. 

In my opinion, the pressure put on mummies to breastfeed is wrong, and the way our country goes about it just makes the divide bigger.  Do understand though, I’m not anti-breastfeeding, I just don’t support how we do things at the moment.

As soon as the infant-feeding co-ordinators find out you’re not breastfeeding, you’re dropped like a stone and they look down their nose at you as you fall.  And that often makes ‘those that can’ act superior, further compounding everything that’s wrong with the debate.  Whatever happened to Sisterhood? I guess that’s something for another post!

CB

The 'Genderless' Baby

A couple in Canada have stirred a big stick into the ever-controversial hornet’s nest that is the “nature versus nurture” debate. It was reported that they are raising their baby without a gender.  So, unisex clothes, and toys (maybe no big deal for the first few months) and not even close friends know whether the baby is a boy or a girl.

I understand that they want to give their child the freedom from societal stereotypes, but it does seem to me that potentially they are storing up far more problems for him or her than if they just dressed him in pink or blue from now.

Whatever path ‘it’ follows, he or she will face gender stereotypes.  Like it or not, that’s how the world is, and always has been. Men are expected to behave one way and women, often, in a completely different way.  Sometimes there’s a biological reason for that, and even this Canadian family can’t change that.  How awful to be referring to a child as ‘it’ – immediately removing an identity, in my view.

The parents will allow the baby the choices when he/she is older about when to cut its hair, or how to dress.  All well and good, but what about when he/she has to start interacting with the rest of the world, say, by starting school.  Children can be very cruel at times.  Bullies target people for being different – don’t give them an obvious opportunity.  It can be very difficult for the gifted child, or the one who wear glasses, or even the one who wears the wrong brand of trainers, so it would be near impossible for a child who is uncertain of their own identity or somewhat out of the ordinary.

I have a boy cousin and a girl cousin, both raised by the same parents in the same house.  They play together with the same toys.  At this age, they don’t understand the gender stereotypes so if the boy cousin wants to wear pink, he does, but he does so while he’s wrestling with the dogs, while his sister, who wouldn’t dream of getting so dirty, plays quietly in the corner with her doll and her brother’s digger.

Children do start expressing opinions early on and understanding what they like.  Mummy often lets me pick clothes in the shop – she’ll hold up a couple of things in my size and I choose the one I like.  That seems to me the best way of letting me find my own identity.  Some days, I look like I conform to gender stereotypes, other days I don’t, but I’m confident in myself.

My mummy’s friend has a daughter that she is scared will become too traditionally ‘girly’ so she very rarely wears pink.  The little girl wanted some pink shoes but her mummy said no because they had too much diamante decoration on them.  What message does that give her – that she’s not worth pretty things?  That her opinion doesn’t count?

Going back to the Canadian family, they’re saying they’re doing it so the child has permission to make choices for him or herself, but in a way, they’re taking away its right to choice by forcing their thoughts on to the baby.

 To me it feels that ultimately, it is the child who will suffer for an ideological experiment.

CB